A picture is worth...

There is something about catching a glimpse of your infant's father gazing down at him and sharing in the awe you feel when you stare at him yourself. Today was probably the most challenging day I've had throughout this entire pregnancy and birth, partly thanks to an overload of hormones and severe lack of sleep.

As you know, Mason was born on Monday, one day short of 36 weeks, weighing in at 6 pounds and 6 ounces. We left the hospital yesterday afternoon and he had lost 6 ounces in the two days we were there. This morning Mason and I came in for a consultation with our third lactation specialist (who was by FAR the best... if I had known on Monday what I know now...) and to test his bilirubin count. While there is no "normal" number for bilirubin levels, anything above 15 is considered high. We discovered that Mason's weight had dropped a few more ounces to 5 pounds and 12 ounces (which is a 10% loss since birth and the most you want to have) and his bilirubin level came back at 15. Given those two variables the doctor decided to readmit our little guy to the hospital.

Tage and I spent a stressful day concerned about Mason's health and well-being, knowing full well that he was going to be fine. Bilirubin, for those who don't know, helps monitor the removal of red blood cells from the body. If you can't tell from the photo above and it's bluish tint, Mason has been under the lights since this afternoon and will continue to spend the night there. I will be practicing my pumping (we also discovered today that Mason and I haven't been doing as good of a job as we thought we were), Mason will be practicing his looking cute, and Dad just headed out to try to get a good night's sleep. When we are home for good I'll post some more thoughts, pictures, and experiences from the last several days but I couldn't wait to share the one above, as it brings tears to my eyes each time I look at it and see my two boys together. And that's not just the hormones talking. Just when you thought you couldn't possibly love someone any more than you already do...